Weight/Diet update

Ironically when I'm at college/uni I eat way healthier than I do at home (I live with my uncle, his wife and 4 kids). Maybe it's because I'm too frugal to spend my money on mindless snacking sprees at college. At home, snacks overflow the pantry and it's incredibly tempting when everything is just so damn delicious and I have nothing else to do.

So.... back to updating you guys on my weight. At college, during the last few weeks (about 4), I was able lose the pounds and drop from 140 to 133lb. This is without regular exercise (hardly any) and just by eating less and resisting the scrumptious ice cream and dessert area of the cafeteria.
Believe me when I say that it took an incredibly long time (almost a whole semester to be exact) for me not to feel obliged to eat everything in sight just because it's part of what I paid for.

Currently, I weigh 138 pounds..... I feel ashamed, in the space of one week and 4 days, I've put on 5 pounds and it sucks. I've really let myself down in terms of what I eat. I'm working on it. Thank God they actually buy fruit now so when I feel the urge to snack I'll reach for a bag of grapes rather than a pack of oreos.

Nevertheless, I'm proud to say that I've been working out every other day. I run for about 30/40mins, do squat and ab exercises and it feels great. I've really been pushing myself in that aspect, but I really need to pull up my socks with my diet if I want to see any major results.

My goal for this summer is to lose 15pounds. I don't think its too far fetched, I'll have until August to reach my target weight so I'll look like a brand new person when school starts again. I'd be really content to lose even just 10 pounds for the long term. I basically don't want to weigh more than 128pounds again.
My thighs seriously kill my self-esteem.

It's been a while

I have been slacking big time with updating my blog. Since I'm off for summer break, I promise to post regularly.

My new vision for my blog is to just talk about my life, my dreams, my struggles. It will kind of be like a public diary, but may offer some entertainment, insight or help to you readers out there.

So expect new content soon to those of you who are still with me! :)

Work it with Youtube!

Hey Guys,

it's been a while. Again, I know, I'm sorry.

But but but, I have good news! :)

Firstly,
my diet has really improved. Well that is, my eating habits. These days I don't overeat anymore. I'm beginning to learn how to control my erratic appetite and hunger. I'm getting there, bear with me.

Secondly,
I officially have weight loss buddy. And it's a guy mind you, but we're totally helping each other and it's been really good so far because we motivate each other when we feel like eating everything we see and scold each other when we haven't worked out for the day. By August 1st, I should lose 10 pounds. So basically goal weight is 125pounds *Fingers crossed*

Thirdly,
I LOOOOVE this Youtube fitness channel called Blogilates! The instructors name is Cassie and she's just amazing! Believe you me, I really hate working out, I never have the motivation for it. But, she's the only one that can make me endure a whole workout and keep up with her monthly workout plans just because she's so motivational! I mean, just look at her! She's got an amazing body to aspire for and a great personality to keep you coming back to her workouts everyday.
For those of you out there looking for at-home workouts, I really suggest you give her a try!
http://www.youtube.com/blogilates

P.S.: She also has a diet/food channel called Blogilates TV
http://www.youtube.com/user/BlogilatesTV

P.P.S: Visit her blog, I'm currently on day 8 of the April 2013 calendar
http://www.blogilates.com/

Time for a change!

So it's been a while since I've posted anything.... Probably about a year and a half.

And although I have gained weight actually, I definitely am not going down the unhealthy route of weightloss again. This time, I'm determined to move my lazy ass! (which I have been doing regularly by the way which has helped maintain my current weight).

The thing is, now I need to change the way I eat. I admit, I still have a problem with food which is rather unhealthy. I still binge uncontrollably when I'm feeling emotionally low. But I will get there, I promise.

Firstly;

I need to cut down on Sugar.
Sugar is my biggest enemy yet.

I have no problem avoiding meat and salty things but I do have a really sweet tooth most of the time.
And let me tell you it has cost me.... I'm about 7-10pounds heavier than last time I posted something on my blog.

I take the blame.

Secondly;

I need to cut down my frickin' portions. I can truly testify to the myth that people who don't eat breakfast are heavier. I've seen it with my own eyes. I used to eat breakfast during secondary school but once I got to my final 2 years, since then I've been a pretty good breakfast-skipper.

This means that I don't eat for ages and most of the time (I'm in the final year of Sixth Form by the way), I'm so busy I forget to eat which means that I probably don't eat until 4 or 5pm depending on my schedule.

So when I do eventually get my hands on some food, I wolf tons and tons of it down as if I had been starving for the past week. Obviously, this means that I overeat A LOT.
So not eating breakfast and lunch would be absolutely worthless at the end of the day because I eat twice or sometimes thrice as much as I would normally eat throughout the day in a single sitting. *Sigh*

That is bad. That is very VERY BAD.

This, I realise, is another habit I need to kick to the curb.

Lastly;

I have to destroy the 'I'm not good/pretty/slim-enough' monster within me. Once I find out how, I promise to share with you how I managed to tear the monster into pieces.

I'll leave now and do some coursework as I planned for today. Half the day is already gone! Oh dear, I'm so idle.... X_X

Lookbook Thinspo!! :)

my dream legs!

to have legs look amazing in skinnies!!

so tiny... she's beautiful

the size of her thighs are perfect.....

to look amazing in shorts!

to have amazing arms!

amazing legs!!

to have arms like this!



perfect legs!

oh my...

Praying...

I hope everything is alright with me....

Although I've completely forgotten about collecting my blood results from my Doctor since about 3 weeks now, they suddenly want to see me on Monday to discuss my results... Uh-oh.

It's silly for me to be so anxious right now but all I can think in my head right now is.... I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I haven't even lived my life yet -_- 

What I need to do right now is lock myself in my room and actually pray.

I'd like to just sleep the time away

So.... *deep breath*

My mum caught me and my boyfriend 'embracing' yesterday.... ermmm yeah. Not good.

This is exactly how i feel right now :(

So obviously I get dragged home and thank God she just hollered at me but still... I feel totally exposed now and she looks at me like I'm a slut. But I haven't even had sex before and she's going on about how she's too young to be a grandma... Oh gosh, always about her isn't it.

So a question to you all, is biting or pinching your skin till it bleeds and leaves a mark a form of self-harm? Because when I'm really stressed like I was yesterday, that's what I do. Hmm... o_O Plus, is it likely I'll suffer from self-harm? because my brother used to, he's got loads of scars...

It's been a while...

Yea the title is quite an understatement. A lot has happened in the past few months, and I mean A LOT.... anyway there's no need to be depressed, I can simply choose to move on :)

Now some motivational thinspo... Enjoy :)

my dream body :O

to look THAT hot in shorts would be amazing!

to have that gap while crossing your legs.... !!

AMEN to that!!

yea erm that would be a problem.... theres too much food at home...

hmmmmm *nods in agreement*

one day i will do this and not have gross amount of fat hanging loosely! :D

such a HOT body!

*makes a mental note*

cos seriously, i cant take the "you've added weight" remarks and jokes anymore - from friends and family, even random people

And on that note, you have reached the end of this post and I hope you guys continue to be strong :) xx

Extremely long couple thinspo

ooooooft! It's hot in here ;)

Ultimately this is what I would want for my bf to do to me :)

would be lovely to feel tiny in my bf's arms :)

you can't really tell but she's got a tiny neck!