So it's been like.... forever

So I've only ever posted once on my blog (I know I'm soo bad -_-) So just to recap the past couple of months; I finished secondary school ( I live in London by the way), have started college (I'm doing A-level Biology, English literature and language, Psychology and German) and have put on a tremendous amount of weight *sigh* See what I struggle with is not the actual not eating (I can do that perfectly fine when my mum is not watching) but I struggle with saying no to food when I'm actually offered. It's not like I have a fear of actually being caught not eating or something, but it's just that... Well... I simply can't resist food

It's actually gotten to a point where I think might need help, like... spiritually. Yes I'm a Christian and probably not setting the best example writing this blog, but I'm simply trying to loose weight that's all. Anyway, so I went on like a 2 day fast which could've been 3 but yea my mum decided to interfere *sigh* Well the bottom line is, I don't eat a lot of times during the day, but when I do, I OVEREAT!! Like major binge and I just completely go off the rails! It's like, once I taste something good, I want more and more until I am waaaay too full. It's quite sad actually.... I'm being a total pig. A total greedy pig. A total greedy ballooning pig.

So there, I've spoken my mind. I wonder if anyone actually reads this.... o.O

Stats:
CW - No clue (I can't bear stepping on the scale when I know I've gained like a stone)

Food Diary:
Breakfast: Bran flakes with semi-skimmed milk, slice of wholemeal toast with jam and philidelphia
Lunch: Fried egg with tomato and red peppers, 2 slices wholemeal toast, jam, philidelphia (AGAIN, I know...) Oh and a big cup of black tea with milk
Dinner: Chicken soup and rice (I had 3 drumsticks -_- 3!!!!) and sparkling Lemonade
Snack: 6 chocolate covered brazil nuts (looooots of chocolate), 5 mints

Oooh guess what guys?!! I've been all over my house trying to find something to get me to.... wait for it..... POOP. Because, yea...... So I've finally found laxatives!!! Wooohoooooo. I hope it kicks in soon because I feel like I'm carrying extra loads -_-

So ANYWAY...... a little thinspo! I really want thin thighs!!!

Amazing! I love love LOVE her gap :)

I want to cry... her legs are beautiful!

I want to be able to wear shorts like that!!

Dreaming.....

One day!

I want to be able to wear long socks like that without any fat spilling!

One day my pictures will be used as thinspo! 

Be positive guys and stay strong!

             Sophie xx